the train tracks..

Do you want to know the most surprising thing about loving someone quietly who doesn’t love you back? It doesn’t actually kill you. Like a bullet in the heart or a head on car wreck. It should, when someone who you willing to give your heart to had given hers to someone else instead, it should kill you instantly. You shouldn’t have to wake up day after day after something like that trying to understand how in the world you can make her see you. Then fear just makes you so stupid. Love is blind. I don want to be blind anymore. That girl is the one I want to give my heart to. But what if she will never love me? I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking you idiot you are the stupidest men in the world. You love a girl who has a boyfriend. Yet why do I still do it then? Because I’m sick of being afraid all the time. And because I still want things. I want her to love me.

They say they build the train tracks over the Alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip. They build it anyway. They knew one day the train would come. Any arbitrary turning along the way and I will be elsewhere. I will be different. What are faiths anyway, they are what they contain. Faith protects the dreamer. I’m having faith that good things can happen even late in the game. I hope I am right… I really do.