Happy Birthday to Me! I'm now 23 years old. WOW, where have the years gone?!?! Honestly, I still feel like a 16 year old!
My boss and colleagues throw me a surprise. They quietly gathered at the pantry and when I walk in the lights were off and sitting on the middle of the table was the birthday cake. Love you guys! I made a wish.. that all my colleagues' dream will be realizable. As well as my very own. ANYWAYS... during that split second, I really wish she's with me today, but thats okay. There's always the weekend to celebrate!
When I was writing this, I was thinking about how I've celebrated past birthdays and which were my faves.. I remember celebrating my 16th birthday with my ex. And I remember my ex giving me a piglet soft toy! I still have it somewhere in the storeroom back home stored away.
On my 7th birthday (yeah, i'm going backwards now. this is how my memory works) i had a huge party at KFC for my birthday. I think my parents invited all my friends. and we ALL had pinatas to hit and possibly a clown if i remember right? i know i had a clown for one of them, so it may or may not have been that party. I just remember it being SO MUCH FUN!!!!!
Another birthday I really enjoyed was my 20th birthday with my family and girlfriend. My mom surprised me by having to prepare the most delicious meal! She has always been a great cook. But this was special. We had steak, potatoes and salads. And my girlfriend surprise me with the best cheese cake she personally baked herself. I was completely surprised and am still so grateful for my girlfriend for planning everything!
As for my future birthdays, I really wish I can spend it with her...and that one day my heart will belong to hers. No fancy gifts or birthday celebrations. Just a moment alone with her... so help me god...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
When my eyes met hers....
The love bug bit me again. I had no idea that its venom would be so potent. Today, I sat and recall the first day I set my eyes on her beautiful face.
It was first day on my new job. So imagine my anxiousness when I first step foot into the building on that Monday morning. All of the new staffs are suppose to undergo a 1 week training. I stumbled on my way into the room and there she was as though there was some kind of light shining from above her while she grab a seat on the front row. It was wonderful. I wanted to approach her but then backed away, having not decided what was I going to say. I was waiting for an opportunity. The training started with mostly speeches and then came the moment - the opportunity. All of us are required to greet 5 strangers in the room. This is it. I steadied my hands, looked around to make sure nobody had seen my eyes go all kinds of crazy when I am thinking, and went back to admiring her movements. So eventually, after reassuring myself that I would not, in fact, do something dorky, I made my way towards her. I wipe off my sweaty palms on the corner pocket of my working pants and reach it out. She shook it. And theres the first time our eyes actually met. And it was one of the best moments of my life.
Four months has passed, yet she still holds a special place in my heart. But like all other things in life, I fear the worst. She has a boyfriend. I have no choice but to draw the line. I have to stay away from her. Thats the only way to keep my heart in control. I would'nt want to hurt myself again... I wouldn't want her to hate me. Plus I have a girlfriend as well..
It was first day on my new job. So imagine my anxiousness when I first step foot into the building on that Monday morning. All of the new staffs are suppose to undergo a 1 week training. I stumbled on my way into the room and there she was as though there was some kind of light shining from above her while she grab a seat on the front row. It was wonderful. I wanted to approach her but then backed away, having not decided what was I going to say. I was waiting for an opportunity. The training started with mostly speeches and then came the moment - the opportunity. All of us are required to greet 5 strangers in the room. This is it. I steadied my hands, looked around to make sure nobody had seen my eyes go all kinds of crazy when I am thinking, and went back to admiring her movements. So eventually, after reassuring myself that I would not, in fact, do something dorky, I made my way towards her. I wipe off my sweaty palms on the corner pocket of my working pants and reach it out. She shook it. And theres the first time our eyes actually met. And it was one of the best moments of my life.
Four months has passed, yet she still holds a special place in my heart. But like all other things in life, I fear the worst. She has a boyfriend. I have no choice but to draw the line. I have to stay away from her. Thats the only way to keep my heart in control. I would'nt want to hurt myself again... I wouldn't want her to hate me. Plus I have a girlfriend as well..
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
barbeque me...
It’s a question I had ask myself a dozens of times: Why on earth do I always look so stupid in front of her?? Are you insane?
The barbeque night out was uneventful, a casual talk on work. Nothing personal. And so appropriately, I fear I will never have my first proper conversation with her. Worst. I didn't even offered her any food or drinks. I basically just froze everytime i see her. What an idiot! It's just that everytime i see those long eye lashes and the look on her face, it just melts my heart away. That night, she wore a simple yellow baby-T and a hot pants with a small sling back across her shoulders. A total beauty... Her small petite figure makes you just want to protect her.. to care for her. And anything else in this world does not matter.
As the night pass, not long after however, all of us were thoroughly missing some booze and games and she decided to host one, and even though I didn't know what it was I played along. She patiently explained the rules of the game till all of us understoond. I thought I better played to gain a positive response. I realise she had lots of drinks. I know thats the purpose of the game. Thats the way it is been played. But deep inside I really want to help her. But I didn't. And when those cheeks went reddish, it was even more heart-throbing.
ok. ok.. enough of all this. conclusion.. I barbeque myself that night. Idiot!
The barbeque night out was uneventful, a casual talk on work. Nothing personal. And so appropriately, I fear I will never have my first proper conversation with her. Worst. I didn't even offered her any food or drinks. I basically just froze everytime i see her. What an idiot! It's just that everytime i see those long eye lashes and the look on her face, it just melts my heart away. That night, she wore a simple yellow baby-T and a hot pants with a small sling back across her shoulders. A total beauty... Her small petite figure makes you just want to protect her.. to care for her. And anything else in this world does not matter.
As the night pass, not long after however, all of us were thoroughly missing some booze and games and she decided to host one, and even though I didn't know what it was I played along. She patiently explained the rules of the game till all of us understoond. I thought I better played to gain a positive response. I realise she had lots of drinks. I know thats the purpose of the game. Thats the way it is been played. But deep inside I really want to help her. But I didn't. And when those cheeks went reddish, it was even more heart-throbing.
ok. ok.. enough of all this. conclusion.. I barbeque myself that night. Idiot!
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