Heard this oldie in my office today and it was sung by Dan Hill. Think its a really beautiful song which touched my heart so I decided to put the lyrics on my blog.
Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
I wish to have an extremely romantic relationship with her but yet doubts set in and I don't not know if she is able to love me.
This love-hate, bitter-sweet feeling is so overwhelming at times. I want to push her away. But yet wishes I don't have to do it. If only the doubts and fears can go away...If only...
Its no longer about methods and what you can do outwardly. There is still a remnant of love residing inside. A hope that everything will be alright. But I am really not sure...
On one hand, I really wish to drive her away, make myself give up on her. But yet on the other hand, I wish that I will keep on pursuing, prove to you I am true, convince her that I am worth giving the rest of your life to...
Perhaps things will be better if I don't do anything. Then maybe all these will fade away with time. I like to be a logical person. I don't like to be confused. But I really don't know if I can bear this feeling for now...
* End of my dramatic commentary. Any similarities to people living or dead is purely coincidental*
May everyone find their true love and don't let go when they do! =)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
the train tracks..
Do you want to know the most surprising thing about loving someone quietly who doesn’t love you back? It doesn’t actually kill you. Like a bullet in the heart or a head on car wreck. It should, when someone who you willing to give your heart to had given hers to someone else instead, it should kill you instantly. You shouldn’t have to wake up day after day after something like that trying to understand how in the world you can make her see you. Then fear just makes you so stupid. Love is blind. I don want to be blind anymore. That girl is the one I want to give my heart to. But what if she will never love me? I do wake up in the middle of the night thinking you idiot you are the stupidest men in the world. You love a girl who has a boyfriend. Yet why do I still do it then? Because I’m sick of being afraid all the time. And because I still want things. I want her to love me.
They say they build the train tracks over the Alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip. They build it anyway. They knew one day the train would come. Any arbitrary turning along the way and I will be elsewhere. I will be different. What are faiths anyway, they are what they contain. Faith protects the dreamer. I’m having faith that good things can happen even late in the game. I hope I am right… I really do.
They say they build the train tracks over the Alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip. They build it anyway. They knew one day the train would come. Any arbitrary turning along the way and I will be elsewhere. I will be different. What are faiths anyway, they are what they contain. Faith protects the dreamer. I’m having faith that good things can happen even late in the game. I hope I am right… I really do.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
my birthday wish...
Happy Birthday to Me! I'm now 23 years old. WOW, where have the years gone?!?! Honestly, I still feel like a 16 year old!
My boss and colleagues throw me a surprise. They quietly gathered at the pantry and when I walk in the lights were off and sitting on the middle of the table was the birthday cake. Love you guys! I made a wish.. that all my colleagues' dream will be realizable. As well as my very own. ANYWAYS... during that split second, I really wish she's with me today, but thats okay. There's always the weekend to celebrate!
When I was writing this, I was thinking about how I've celebrated past birthdays and which were my faves.. I remember celebrating my 16th birthday with my ex. And I remember my ex giving me a piglet soft toy! I still have it somewhere in the storeroom back home stored away.
On my 7th birthday (yeah, i'm going backwards now. this is how my memory works) i had a huge party at KFC for my birthday. I think my parents invited all my friends. and we ALL had pinatas to hit and possibly a clown if i remember right? i know i had a clown for one of them, so it may or may not have been that party. I just remember it being SO MUCH FUN!!!!!
Another birthday I really enjoyed was my 20th birthday with my family and girlfriend. My mom surprised me by having to prepare the most delicious meal! She has always been a great cook. But this was special. We had steak, potatoes and salads. And my girlfriend surprise me with the best cheese cake she personally baked herself. I was completely surprised and am still so grateful for my girlfriend for planning everything!
As for my future birthdays, I really wish I can spend it with her...and that one day my heart will belong to hers. No fancy gifts or birthday celebrations. Just a moment alone with her... so help me god...
My boss and colleagues throw me a surprise. They quietly gathered at the pantry and when I walk in the lights were off and sitting on the middle of the table was the birthday cake. Love you guys! I made a wish.. that all my colleagues' dream will be realizable. As well as my very own. ANYWAYS... during that split second, I really wish she's with me today, but thats okay. There's always the weekend to celebrate!
When I was writing this, I was thinking about how I've celebrated past birthdays and which were my faves.. I remember celebrating my 16th birthday with my ex. And I remember my ex giving me a piglet soft toy! I still have it somewhere in the storeroom back home stored away.
On my 7th birthday (yeah, i'm going backwards now. this is how my memory works) i had a huge party at KFC for my birthday. I think my parents invited all my friends. and we ALL had pinatas to hit and possibly a clown if i remember right? i know i had a clown for one of them, so it may or may not have been that party. I just remember it being SO MUCH FUN!!!!!
Another birthday I really enjoyed was my 20th birthday with my family and girlfriend. My mom surprised me by having to prepare the most delicious meal! She has always been a great cook. But this was special. We had steak, potatoes and salads. And my girlfriend surprise me with the best cheese cake she personally baked herself. I was completely surprised and am still so grateful for my girlfriend for planning everything!
As for my future birthdays, I really wish I can spend it with her...and that one day my heart will belong to hers. No fancy gifts or birthday celebrations. Just a moment alone with her... so help me god...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
When my eyes met hers....
The love bug bit me again. I had no idea that its venom would be so potent. Today, I sat and recall the first day I set my eyes on her beautiful face.
It was first day on my new job. So imagine my anxiousness when I first step foot into the building on that Monday morning. All of the new staffs are suppose to undergo a 1 week training. I stumbled on my way into the room and there she was as though there was some kind of light shining from above her while she grab a seat on the front row. It was wonderful. I wanted to approach her but then backed away, having not decided what was I going to say. I was waiting for an opportunity. The training started with mostly speeches and then came the moment - the opportunity. All of us are required to greet 5 strangers in the room. This is it. I steadied my hands, looked around to make sure nobody had seen my eyes go all kinds of crazy when I am thinking, and went back to admiring her movements. So eventually, after reassuring myself that I would not, in fact, do something dorky, I made my way towards her. I wipe off my sweaty palms on the corner pocket of my working pants and reach it out. She shook it. And theres the first time our eyes actually met. And it was one of the best moments of my life.
Four months has passed, yet she still holds a special place in my heart. But like all other things in life, I fear the worst. She has a boyfriend. I have no choice but to draw the line. I have to stay away from her. Thats the only way to keep my heart in control. I would'nt want to hurt myself again... I wouldn't want her to hate me. Plus I have a girlfriend as well..
It was first day on my new job. So imagine my anxiousness when I first step foot into the building on that Monday morning. All of the new staffs are suppose to undergo a 1 week training. I stumbled on my way into the room and there she was as though there was some kind of light shining from above her while she grab a seat on the front row. It was wonderful. I wanted to approach her but then backed away, having not decided what was I going to say. I was waiting for an opportunity. The training started with mostly speeches and then came the moment - the opportunity. All of us are required to greet 5 strangers in the room. This is it. I steadied my hands, looked around to make sure nobody had seen my eyes go all kinds of crazy when I am thinking, and went back to admiring her movements. So eventually, after reassuring myself that I would not, in fact, do something dorky, I made my way towards her. I wipe off my sweaty palms on the corner pocket of my working pants and reach it out. She shook it. And theres the first time our eyes actually met. And it was one of the best moments of my life.
Four months has passed, yet she still holds a special place in my heart. But like all other things in life, I fear the worst. She has a boyfriend. I have no choice but to draw the line. I have to stay away from her. Thats the only way to keep my heart in control. I would'nt want to hurt myself again... I wouldn't want her to hate me. Plus I have a girlfriend as well..
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
barbeque me...
It’s a question I had ask myself a dozens of times: Why on earth do I always look so stupid in front of her?? Are you insane?
The barbeque night out was uneventful, a casual talk on work. Nothing personal. And so appropriately, I fear I will never have my first proper conversation with her. Worst. I didn't even offered her any food or drinks. I basically just froze everytime i see her. What an idiot! It's just that everytime i see those long eye lashes and the look on her face, it just melts my heart away. That night, she wore a simple yellow baby-T and a hot pants with a small sling back across her shoulders. A total beauty... Her small petite figure makes you just want to protect her.. to care for her. And anything else in this world does not matter.
As the night pass, not long after however, all of us were thoroughly missing some booze and games and she decided to host one, and even though I didn't know what it was I played along. She patiently explained the rules of the game till all of us understoond. I thought I better played to gain a positive response. I realise she had lots of drinks. I know thats the purpose of the game. Thats the way it is been played. But deep inside I really want to help her. But I didn't. And when those cheeks went reddish, it was even more heart-throbing.
ok. ok.. enough of all this. conclusion.. I barbeque myself that night. Idiot!
The barbeque night out was uneventful, a casual talk on work. Nothing personal. And so appropriately, I fear I will never have my first proper conversation with her. Worst. I didn't even offered her any food or drinks. I basically just froze everytime i see her. What an idiot! It's just that everytime i see those long eye lashes and the look on her face, it just melts my heart away. That night, she wore a simple yellow baby-T and a hot pants with a small sling back across her shoulders. A total beauty... Her small petite figure makes you just want to protect her.. to care for her. And anything else in this world does not matter.
As the night pass, not long after however, all of us were thoroughly missing some booze and games and she decided to host one, and even though I didn't know what it was I played along. She patiently explained the rules of the game till all of us understoond. I thought I better played to gain a positive response. I realise she had lots of drinks. I know thats the purpose of the game. Thats the way it is been played. But deep inside I really want to help her. But I didn't. And when those cheeks went reddish, it was even more heart-throbing.
ok. ok.. enough of all this. conclusion.. I barbeque myself that night. Idiot!
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